http://reproductiverights.org/

Everyone should take a look at this.

women of color and the media

As everyone is already aware racism is very much so still a prominent part of our society, it's something that's been heavily ingrained in us since childhood. Even in feminism race is still a giant issue, the "feminist" is a middle aged white woman.

 There is a giant contradiction in a movement that is willing to acknowledge that gender is important and a giant barrier but is somehow unwilling to acknowledge that race also plays a large role in it as well.

As a woman of color myself I can tell you from first hand experience that there is definitely a large gap between how a white woman is seen versus a woman of color.I think as any breathing person has noticed when in general are sexualized in the media and are often used as advertising tools but in particular woman of color are exploited. even more so then their white counterparts.  In most movies and media you see the classic stereotype of the lustful Latina who is concerned only about sex and exist to please men and the loud black woman who is also usually barely dressed. It's disappointing that a woman would chose to insult herself and perpetuate those representations but whats worse is that people are believing them. The majority of time when a woman of color is presented in a more respectable role it is only because she is lighter skinned and less "ethnic" and can therefore be presented a different way.

The formula is simple, if you are not a white male in a heteronormative relationship than you are not a worthy member of a our society and that is such a disappointing idea that society as a whole can't seem to shake.

Marvel at it.

It never fails to amaze me how there are men that are in the media spotlight and continue to be in the media spotlight even after they commit crimes against women. Take for example photographer Terry Richardson who has been subject to accusations of sexual abuse and of overall being a sleazeball yet agencies still send young women there. Why? Because it's a part of life.

The normalization and the trivialization of these acts is appalling. Model Coco Rocha took a stand and clearly stated that he made her uncomfortable and that she refused to work with him again and I applaud her for that.

One of the main issues with cases like this is that the abuser is usually in a position of power and uses their status to keep people intimidated and quiet. The biggest barrier between reporting sexual assault is the fact that often times the victim has more to lose then the assailant.

Simplicity of thought

It isn't a man's fault that they inherently give privilege at birth. They do not ask for it. The same way a colored woman doesn't ask to be less valuable then a white woman. What makes this unacceptable is the refusal to accept and acknowledge it, the refusal to help your fellow human out.

“If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency.”

—	bell hooks, Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics

Why women's issues matter or should matter to you

I've noticed that people have a hard time feeling the pain that they don't literally feel. Maybe trying empathize with others is too abstract a concept, but if it takes a personal level to understand then maybe I can break this down into simple terms.

Try to picture a woman you care about, it could be anyone. Now keeping that person in mind I'd like to relate a personal story, a male that I used to be close with once told me about how he was at a party and this girl had too much to drink and passed out. His friend was already dragging her to the nearest empty room. Now this guy, he wasn't what you would say looked like a horrible person, he wasnt a giant scary monster, and really he was just a guy. My old friend intervened and ensured that she woke up at home and not in confusion and distress. Now I've heard this story before with different endings, some of those endings are incredibly upsetting and have brought me to tears. If you kept that woman you care about in mind I'd like for you to think of her, think of her vulnerable and broken. Spending the rest of her life in fear of the shadow looming in the distance.

If you've kept up with the statistics concerning rape/sexual abuse at all then you already know the state of things if you haven't let me fill you in with the basics.

• Physical abuse in relationships has been on the rise lately
• Sexual abuse is more commonly committed by people who the victim knows
• 54% of rapes aren't reported to the police and 97% of rapists will never even receive jail time 

If this isn't horrifying then I don't know what is. Most people aren't aware of how hard it is to prosecute someone for rape. In order to collect evidence the police/medical personal compile what is called a "rape kit",  this process is invasive and time is of the essence. For someone who has just been raped this isn't a walk in the park and prosecution and things like that aren't the first things that come to mind.

Most women don't press charges against their rapist because that means facing their rapist and relaying their private hurtful experiences in front of others. 

In the U.S. we have a tendency to teach women to avoid dressing a certain way, to avoid certain streets, to avoid , to avoid and to avoid. We don't teach men that rape is wrong, and our society has a way of encouraging the cult of masculinity. We don't teach people to empathize with the pain of others or to be in touch with their more "feminine" qualities.Qualities which include a more empathetic approach to the pain of others. A mentality that doesn't encourage violence and doesn't prove it's worth through sheer brute strength.  

There is more to men then society gives them credit for and forcing them to ignore their feelings is unhealthy for them and dangerous for women.

"Show a little class"

A personal pet peeve of mine that I've never understood why event to this day women bow their heads down and avoid confrontation.A confrontational strong woman is an undesirable woman, which should deter a woman from being how she wants to be only if she's pathetic enough to live her entire life trying to be desirable to men. Society enjoys pushing the idea that a woman should be meek and mild, this tiresome attitude is shown constantly in ads where models are posed in the canting position. With their heads down and tilted looking so powerless while some beef head towers over them.

I mean how many times do women hear that "cursing is unladylike, that smoking is unladylike, and that tattoos are unladylike", that's all a person to person choice and your personal choices (within the bounds of reason i.e. not harming other) should not be up for debate. To put it bluntly; be who you fucking want to be and don't think that because you're a woman you should be any fucking less.

And I leave you with some punk music from the quintessential band Bikini Kill from the riot grrrl movement. 

Attitude means everything

The term feminist receives very negative attention not due to definition but rather connotation. Most people picture a "feminazi" a term that Rush Limbaugh so graciously decided to promote being the ultra conservative swine that he is. That gives people the illusion that a feminist  must be pro women and against men. That isn't necessarily the case. I for one think that men are crucial to the feminist cause and to creating equality among the genders, rather than take on a victim mentality and create a scapegoat which is conveniently there to blame for all shortcomings. Men can be feminist, the term does not only refer to women and I think that more men need to know that. Gender roles are something that are instilled in women and men at an incredibly young age, these are all social constructs. Several groups of people want to blame the media for this, but the fact of the matter is that the media creates images that people want. They sell what people want to buy. Women more often than not perpetuate the very ideas that so many want to break free from, they buy the ticket and they take the ride.

I don't blame men but I do feel tempted to point a finger at some (not all) women.

Women and men are inherently different, from physical differences to some mental differences. Differences do not make anyone better or worse(something racists should think about). Upon accepting these differences and than realizing that they do not make you better or worse you can begin to eliminate the privileged mentality. I'm aware this sounds idealistic but at no point am I denying that men and women do see a difference in wage equality. It is also harder for women to enter the field of politics and legislation makers. Which is why I suggest we build bridges rather than start wars.

Slut.

The other day I encountered a girl who decided that as an insult she would call me a bitch and a slut, this girl has met me once. I find this so incredibly amusing not just because she couldn't think of anything better to say but just because I don't believe in sluts. A "slut" is actually an antiquated term for a chambermaid and somewhere along the line and a few puritan ideals later its a term for a sexually promiscuous girl. Promiscuity isn't something that's gender bias but for some reason society has decided as a whole that one of the worst insults you can throw out at a woman is to call her a slut. Now if I had been 14 again this may have hurt me or hit a soft spot but now that I'm older it amuses me. And I repeat, I don't believe in sluts. I attribute this to the fact that the majority of people use the term to describe someone's style of dress, like somehow you can know what someone is like by their appearance. Plus I've never been one to attribute someone's worth based on how they dress, just because it seems so incredibly superficial. I think that someone can respect themselves and a be a worthwhile intelligent person even if they decided to show off their body.

More to the point I don't believe in sluts because I don't see anything wrong with someone choosing to express their sexuality. I don't see the insulting part of telling someone that they have sex often and that they enjoy it. I really don't see why if men are entitled to the "privilege" of being able to enjoy sex why a woman can't indulge in it either. I think the problem is that men don't judge other men for their sex lives but women seem to enjoy perpetuating the "slut shaming" mentality as a way to derive their own self esteem. Like somehow it makes them worth more.

If you have to derive your self esteem from making others feel like less then you have a bigger problem on hand than just being overly concerned with the lives of others.

Introduction

Hello there, I'd like to welcome you to my virtual soapbox. The reason for this blog is simple, I got fed up with the attitudes and labels that are forced onto women on a daily basis. On a small scale I hope that someone will read my thoughts and have a tiny pang of empathy or at least consider a different point of view.